existing

To know death is to feel it,

To be alive is another miracle.

----------------------------------------

The random strands of hair were obstructing her view, she gingerly placed them back, tucked behind her ear. A tell-tale tear was giving away her emotions. Nothing could hide her worn face,

she wasn't only tired, she was ..... complicated.

-------------------------------------------

That, is the only thing running through my brain now. Not in the mood to be positive. The above random things were swimming through my brain. Just to be an outlet, somehow.

I feel like cursing.

>__<

But really, I'm not the cursing type.

Ifoundit. =)

Found the laptop. yeahh!!!

None of you can ever believe where she hid it. It was at the tea-table drawer..

Beside the original place where the laptop was. ==
My mum and my sisters were lying sprawled all over the clean balcony floor.

The renovations are done. At least that's what I think.

Now there are french doors, making the balcony another room.

It actually echoes.

My mum doesn't really care if I touch the laptop now.

She's more concerned about her new balcony makeover.

I'm trying to copy scores from the net, since there is no possible method of printing them.

Copied "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". Now attempting to copy "Habanera -from Carmen"

Its with a piano accompaniment, so I'm obviously having trouble with bass clefts.

Piano parts are hard for me. obviously
Went to the book fair at KLCC, Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre.Not Suria KLCC.

Bought a few good books. Got my dad's birthday present and my mum's cookbooks.

Hmm.

Just came back from the upstairs neighbours, sons, birthday party.

Met a few other people who stayed at Phase 3.

And to Harshiah or Syam, if any of you are reading this. There were no cute guys there kay?

Maybe because I excused myself early, Isabelle was freaking out. So I had to volunteer.

I left mum at the party, socializing with her newfound friends.

On my study timetable, today I have to study English.

But I didn't, and I will. Soon

XD

I officially hate someone.....

I really cannot believe how freaked out my mum is about PMR.
Can anybody believe that she purposely hid two laptops?
Yeah... now I'm typing from the desktop. The extremely slow and retarded desktop.
Sighs*
If any of you think that I hate that particular person because of the laptops.
No. It doesn't have anything to do with computers.

Yesterday was Friday...
Band practice day. As I have said in the before post , I will never, ever practice at home.
And I was desperate for practice. So I went, four people came.
No surprise there.
Mr Koh wasn't surprised either.
Yeah, our instructor stayed back.
He was there 'spectating' us. It was creepy.
Then he told me that there is a good flute teacher near The Curve.
And that teacher was Ave Maria Convent's instructor.
Yes, I admit I got over-excited when I heard about it.
Plus, he said that teacher wasn't that pricey.
So, when my mum came to pick me up from band, I told her.
She literally cursed me....
Not excluding, an attempt to make me break into tears.
Ahhhh. w/e
Then, when I was lying down/resting on my bed.
She thought I was sulking because I couldn't watch TV.
......
I'm gonna be back studying. So I wont be posting for quite a while.
I have a feeling that next week won't be so pleasant.

My adventure~ sitting down

Oh wow.
I am so bored.
That really doesn't seem alien now.
I feel like murdering someone . Someone like my lil sis.
I still can't believe at the tender age of 10 someone can be as spiteful as she is.
Anyway, I can bet you that she will read this post, as well as many others.
She has this problem with other people's privacy
0_0
and I still have to live under he same roof with her.

ohgreatjustgreatveryverygreatstupendouslygreat.

Anyway, moving on to better things
such as :
Isabelle's art class yesterday.

I am so thankful her 2 week picture was finally completed.

At first there were only yellow lilies, then her teacher said it looked bare ,so there came the batch of pink ones .

I was staring at her paint.
And then, her nice teacher told me to try sketching. So, I did.
And this is mine.

If it really is that bad, its an orang-utan.
My lines suck.....
The strokes were not smooth enough actually.
Plus I didn't have a good eraser
So there goes a perfectly good piece of art block...

Pics~ of my day

This is a picture of a very cool looking plaster I have. I still have like five of these. I used one when Isabelle literally dug her nails into my skin. Need I say more?

Below, is a picture/experiment, using the black and white effect. A rubiks cube isn't supposed to be so colourless. XD
A picture of my new file. ^^; Yeah, it's orange. Got it yesterday, along with Jane's birthday present.

Notice the rubiks in colour?

XD
Yeah.. today had a dentist appointment.

My dentist is all the way at Melawati. Pretty far from where I stay .
Ohyeah, Jane, if you are reading this, this is an early birthday prezzie for you.
Sorry it isn't exactly black with purple. I didn't have a decent black pen with me, so bear with the grey

>___<

Tomorrow is Jane's birthday. Hopefully she has a great/stupendous/happy birthday.

Happy Early Birthday Jane!!

Well...

It is kinda sad that my birthday is a long way to go.

'Ello?

It seems almost everyone is 15.

Lemme remain young. XD

I'm addicted

Yes I am.

I admit shamelessly, that I <3 this game

Ever since Isabelle found it, I have been stuck with it.

Lessee, HERE's THE LINK

=http://www.eyezmaze.com/

Try all the GROW games.

They are soo fun!

The graphics are not that bad

I'm not done with the game above yet. It's GROW island, if I'm not mistaken.

Lalalalala 0_0

Better try to finish it.

XD

Report- update~

Ahahahaha this was my phone background for almost one month. I liked it that much.

So many things to talk about

Number one.

From today onwards, I will not practice my flute at home,

at least not anywhere near my mum.

I don't like her

>_<

Well,that was today.

Yesterday.Sunday.

I woke up at ten in the morning, and the party was at twelve.

I woke up so late and I still had to cook eggs, ham and sausages for my family's Sunday outdoor breakfast....which is at the poolside.....which is barely ten steps away from my condo block

In the end, I changed in 5 minutes and combed my hair in the car

=,=

Not only that, my parents decided that they could fool around with the GPS in my mum's phone.

So, all I could hear was "recalculating""recalculating""recalculating"

Annoying##

So, when I finally reached Pavillion. It was a few minutes before twelve.

And the party STARTS at twelve... and they dropped me off at the other side of Pavillion.

So I had to run up 3 or 4 escalators and walk to the opposite side.

And I finally reach TGIF.

Ate a lot of food.

Played pass the parcel, and limbo.

Went to Times bookstore, which was beside TGIF.

Watched District 9

It is an 18+ show.

Lotsa gore+ blood+aliens.

Its quite good actually.

After all its 'Peter Jackson presents'

XD .Peter Jackson didn't actually direct it. But it was still good.

These two pictures were taken with my phone

It was after we went to Times. I was tired+bored, when I took it.

It's still at Pavillion.

XD.

Here is the Birthday Girl, nERYSSA.

I like her hat. I would like it better if it wasn't pink.

That is my piece of cake. It was delicious.... the icing especially.

That's a butterfly, and the hole in the middle was caused by the candle.

Then there's Saturday.

Ahhh.....

I was so happy.

=D

Mr. Koh actually praised me.

During the rehearsal earlier that day, he scolded me for being unprepared.

This was my situation:

Woke up at 6a.m.

Followed Amanda to her school.

Studied KH at the canteen alone.

When practise started, around 8:30

Miss Winnie asked me if I could perform. At first I only wanted to be a 'helper' or an usher or something.

In the end Zkay convinced that I had 6 hours of practise for 3 songs ,which were:

-Let's Rock

-Beauty and the Beast

-Amazing Grace , my last minute solo piece with piano

Yeah... all the songs were for beginners. So 6 hours were enough.

Just that I performed and my parents didn't come to see me perform. Everybody's parents were there... almost everybody.

I asked my mum if she wanted to see the recording. She was like :NO

That is how supportive my mum is.

why?

A(H1N1)

Up to today. Actually up to 8a.m. today.

There are already 56 people dead.

Isn't this a good reason to close down all the schools?

Or do they have to wait for a few hundred to die?

Hello.

Did anyone forget that children are one of the 'high risk' people?

sTill, 56 is a big number.

s t u p i d

...

The form three's have 1 more paper to go.

KH

ohjoytheresonlyonepaperleft.

KH is going to ruin my weekend.

There's going to be intensive revision on accounts

=,=

'fun'

On saturday, which is tomorrow, I['m going to attend/help out/evaluate the concert the form 1,2 and 4's, not to mention, Jane-jane's gonna perform. XD

Heard the flute piece is going to be Amazing Grace.

That song.. no offence, but it's not a challenge. at all.

Then on sunday, there is Neryssa's birthday party.

At pavillion. ^w^. Finally, a time to have fun.

Gonna watch District 9 with 'em

yessss

Teri. This is for you. ;D

Yep.

You mentioned you have never seen pink lillies before.

Feast your eyes.

=D

They bloomed at my house.

In that bucket.

XD

I must admit.

The bucket doesn't suit those flowers though.

They were for Isabelle's art class.

So today would be the last day I'll be seeing them.

They ARE just flowers.

I've made 3 paragraphs of the short story , which I had intentions of handing it in for the short stories book Miss/Mizz?? Sara mentioned to us at the assembly yesterday.

For some reason, this story is kindof dark.

I've never written 'dark' stories. As far as I remember, that is.

bISCUIT hEAven ♥

Thank you again Clarie + Clarie's mummy
For saving me those cookies and brownies =3
I'm eating a moderation.
How?
At least 1 per day?
I don't think I can resist it XD
I already ate 2 ½ cookies.
The ½ was for my youngest sis.
I am so generous .... nOt
XD
Don't worry. I didn't gobble whole pack of cookies.
But I will.
Eventually.

Fasting

Since Mei Wern decided to fast from internet.
She told me the purpose of it. And that you can fast on anything.
What I decided was
STORYBOOKS
gasps*
Barely alive now
No purpose of living T_T
My list of temptations (so far):
1. The 30++ books that were newly bought from the warehouse sale.

Well yeah.
Its only one.
But it is hard to resist.
>__<

Dan Brown's new book is coming out soon.
After PMR I guess.
Read-fest. I'm on my way.
BOOKS.. NEED BOOKS,....
LOLZ..

PrOcRasTiNAtion

That word is very bad

XD

My mum seems more stressed than I am for the Trials.

Panicking every minute .likely.

Now she has a bad sore throat and can barely speak.

And she still can scream and do whatever it takes to make me study..

Isabelle's at art class, so my mum followed her, or not I wouldn't be blogging

August 15

There's a concert for the juniors to perform.

Joey has to do solo, if Zkay doesn't perform for flute.

Was deciding which song to play.

She wanted an easy song

How easy?

Think 'Mary had a little lamb'

A three note song. =,=

Then we settled for Canon in D.

Duet if Sze K goes with her..

Or not its a solo

kesian~

I Want to perform.

Not for me to decide.

August 1

Clarie's birthday party.

Can't go.

T.T

aLL the cookies.

kimbab.

kimchi

browniesssss

~hungry

i wish i could go.

not only because of all the food ( which is btw verrry good)

Ever since the start of the year I was asking her when I could go to her house.

See her house, her doggie, her room, her piano, her alto saxaphone, basically her stuff.

I still wanna go

Don't u get it?

Symptoms :

Being constantly distant.

Being silent.

Having nothing to say at all.

Often staring into blank spaces.

Wanting to avoid everyone.

Recently, there is an addition...

Slamming doors

and an increase of anger/hatred

not to mention my temper has been running out.... fast.

To get things straight,

I did not choose to act like this. My body responds to emotions that way.

Yes, I do wish I could act as my cheery-happy self every single day of my life.

But no.

okay??

So friends who have been affected, sorry.

I'll recover in a few days..........

Until then, please bear with my odd behaviour.

There are 353 results supporting your query... WTH

Looking for music scores again..
Pretty upset that I could not go to Clarie's party.
I was looking reforward to it. And I wanted to see her dog. And her house and her room.
I've gotta admit... I feel sooo left out when everyone else kept talking about her party.
>__<



My mum suggested we go to SOULed OUT for dinner last Saturday. Its this place in Hartamas,it has a kindof Al-fresco ambience. The food there is a definately good. I personally recommend the lamb shank there.
I didn't manage to snap any pics of the food. We were too hungry. XD
Mainly because my dad made me go jogging with him for 4.6 kilometers.=,=
Stamina has decreased rapidly ever since band didn't do marching.
I better go do my homework.

The Art of... cutting/serving fruit

About 10 minutes ago, I was summoned by Her Highness. To cut/slaughter/ eat partially the two pears in the fridge..

It reminded me of that time at Husna's house, where her adorable younger sibling asked her to help peel a pear for her. In the end.. no one found any knife in that house.

Whereintheworld did they keep those stuff?

The sweet nectar drop of the fruit flowed down her finger

No it didn't flow neither did it exist in a drop.

After I was finished with it, the entire hand was covered with sticky pear juice.

>__<

Hopeless

Its been a though week for me
My marks really suck
=.=
so very expected.After all, just like what my mum said : Nicole. You are plain lazy.
Yes I am......... for I did not study enough.
Not to mention the fact that 'I can go die' if I didn't get straight A's
The weekend before intervensi 3, she dragged the whole family to Kedah, where my grandpa was.
He apparently had fractured his hip and was recuperating there...
He looked healthy, constantly hinting that he was fine. Wanting us to go back to KL.
Which I would like. BecaUSE of a few reasons.
Such as:
The need to hit the books for the last-minute cramming session I always have.
The fact that the time taken to travel there was 6 hours ++ not included toilet breaks, lunch stops, etc.
I missed band practice.. Clearly I am not so very-joyful about it.
I mean. Mr Koh came. He gave scores. They planned alotta events without me , which I knew a few days later. Husna told me that Mr Koh are making random juniors do solo performances at the tennis court . I missed it all...
I sms-ed Clarie to ask what happened during practise.
She replied me with one and a half text message.
Shesh.
The following is really how it was in the car when we were starting the journey
Tilting your head would be kind of necessary



Stupid and amature-ish.
I still don't have a decent camera
My first ever time trying to record something with my phone. This is one of the many I made.
=,=; I must say ...it is pathetic.

(changing topic)

Did I mention that Algebra was fun? =3
(okay... completely random)
I need help... possibly flute therapy. Or swimming. Or going jungle tracking and purposely getting lost. Something to get me away from Her.
Anything to get me away.
Before she drains all my self-confidence. And I'll start emo-ing. Anti-socialing. And not to mention converting me into the extreme introvert I was ,once a long time ago.
w/e
I'm fine...

How to start the semester( part 2)

Yess

Intervensi 3 is finally over

I was happy

WAS

all thanks to some person

who shall not be named

who reminded me of all the exams we still have to do

For some unknown reason

I felt ok with the AGM today

I already knew the results 1 day in advance

so I had time to get over it.

and make the best out of it

=D

I cannot wait to eat Clarie's mummy's cookies

XD

They are

crumbly

crunchy

sweet

delicous

stuff

My flute had water marks on it today

Amanda's as good as dead now

if she wasn't sick+sleeping

Accents

I grew up in Kuantan
a place that was so peaceful
and had no traffic jams =)

I had a private playhouse back then XD
Me, being so possessive, had only let 'exclusive' members in, keeping my parents and my grandparents out.
I made my mum and dad bring food for me
all the way to the back yard where my playhouse was.
I didn't want to go out.
It had a fan,carpet, my very own coffee table and mini plastic chairs.
Don't get me wrong.
That place didn't have running water nor electricity.
The only way the fan operated was through a series of extension plugs/wires.

Then in the afternoon
There was tea time >__< (yes the veeerrryyy childish type)

My sisters and I imitated those cockney accents

serving tea to teddy bears
The situation was similar to this:

N: Sir Cuddles, would you like a cup of English Earl?

Oh, you would? Shall you have one cube of sugar or two?

Then my little sisters would join in.

If any of you are rather unclear of what I was doing in the above paragraph

I was talking to my teddy

XD

in a very englishy accent

and the best part was..

I learnt it all on tv

lol

yep

that was my first experience imitating an accent

it was hilarious whan my father showed me a recording of myself doing it

btw that recording was never to be found again

(grins evilly)

The wait... I will be patient

I don't think that I will ever get to go anywhere

Referring to the above statement

What I mean is one word

one very bad word

the word that no Form 3 would like to hear

yes

PMR

I would have to sadly announce that I am not able to participate in the cinema outing

T_____T

nOt that I don't want to

I just can't

But keep in mind that I like watching movies with you people

=3

after PMR we celebrate kay??

Who wants to come?

XD

<getting all excited even when we haven't sat 4 exam yet>

Sorry~

This post

is dedicated to my friends

who had to put up with my annoying behavior for the past few days

especially when my hand got worse

I have to admit

I was not acting normal for the past few days

So sorry again.

>___<

Sorry

because I didn't do my best today

I screwed up

AGAIN

It's simple

I have no idea what's wrong with me

Its just that something is wrong

and I'm not sure what

Mum

for some reason

let me stay at home

so here I am blogging

she'll personally murder me if she finds out

Owh yeah...

I got the notes for 'Hajimari no Yokan' now

I want 'Amuritha' now

Nilllaaaa....

XD